Beautiful for the First Time
by TwiLuvrTay
Summary: \Kim Connweller has had a crush on Jared, the popular, the player, for years and he seems to start to have some feelings toward her too. Will their love grow, or crash and burn?         Rated M because I'm careful. c:
1. Chapter 1: I'm not Obsessed

Disclaimer: The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer I don't own. Blah, Blah, Blah...

Everyone, please be gentle to little me. This is my first story and if you have any constructive critisism it would be appriciated. And I'm terribly sorry is there is any spelling errors. I don;t have spell check so I'm bound to make mistakes.

Anyway...This is a story on the love between Kim anf Jared. I hope you enjoy this little begining chapter.(:

-Your dearest Squirrel

"Get a hold of yourself, Kimmy. You know he will never want you. Get over it." Alisha said.

My eyes tore away from Jared and I glared at her.

Who said I even want him? I hate how she just assumes things like this. It's not like I'm in love with him. It's just a innocent little attraction. Right?

I stared off into space, but was soon brought back to reality by Ali's voice.

"Come on Kim. He's popular and the school player. You think he would want you? Or any of our little so called friends?" Pause. "I think not. Kimberly, your obsession is a little creepy. You look at him whenever you get a chance. He prolly think your some creeper, Did you ever think of that?"

Huh, guess not. He probably does think I'm some creepy little girl who is _a little_ to interested in him. But I don't look at him 24/7, do I?

_Of course you do!_

Uhg! That may be true, but I am _not_ obsessed.

"Kim?"

My eyes shot up to see none other than Paul. Another one of the school players and a friend of the gorgeous Jared.

"What?" I growled glaring at him. He was an ass to me all these years and I wasn't going to be sweet to him after what he has done to me.

Paul raised his hands up in surrender. "Hey, I was just going to ask you if I coud have a pencil but whatever. I see that you would rather have me leave. So bye Kim." He said and headed over to his seat.

Damn. Now I feel like a bitch. All he wanted was a pencil and I had to be all bitchy and spit in his face.

_STOP BEING SORRY!_

I guess I really shouldn't feel sorry for what he did to me. No one deserves a second chance after that.

***Flashback***

_I was walking up to the school to be stopped by Paul._

_I was so excited because no popular kid fromt his school has ever talked to me. I was just happy. I thought that maybe he wanted me to be apart of the popular group._

_I was so fucking stupid._

_"Hey. Kimberly right?" I nodded in response. "Well, I was wondering if you wanted to go on a date with me tonight. I mean, we should just get to know each other and stuff. So are you up to it?" He asked._

_I was so shocked. Paul wanted to date ME?_

_I cleared my throat. "Sure." I managed to gasp out._

_Paul smiled. It was a secretive smile and I was a little taken back. I started to regret agreeing to this and I opened my mouth, but was stopped by his voice._

_"Great! I'll meet you at First beach at 7pm!" He exclaimed and ran off to his friends._

_When my alarm rung, indicating it was 7, I put on a red sun dress and walked off to First Beach. I looked around and only noticed two parents with their children walking by the water. I smiled and dreamt of when I will be married with little kids, but was soon taken away from my thoughts by someone kissing me. I opened my eyes to see Paul. I whimpered when he started to move his hand all over my body. I was so scared of what he was going to do. No one has ever done this before. His hands reached my breasts and he squeezed. I felt his other hand go down to my private areas and he started to rub along my frabric covered core. I panicked and kicked him where it hurts. I ran when he doubled over. I got home and cried my eyes out until I eventually went to sleep._

***End of flashback***

I cringed at the thought of what he could've done if I didn't get away.

Alisha sighed. "You really should stop being so scared around Paul. He wouldn't do anything stupid. I know what he did was terrible, but it's not like it's going to happen again. It's been 2 years for gosh sakes!" She whispered.

I knew she was right, but I couldn't forget what happened. It will haunt me forever and I can't do anything about the thoughts that come into my mind as he approaches. I just hope the therapy helps. It's helped me a little. It's helped me be able to be around him without running away in fear.

"Kimberly Connweller! I asked you a question!"

I looked up to see my teacher glaring at me. I blushed in embarrassment.

"Can you say the question again?" I asked.

I heard some people snicker and it just made me blush a deeper red that probably looks stupid on my russet colored skin.

Ms. Stanley sighed and repeated herself."I said, who was the author of _A Christmas Carol_ ?"

My brain searched for the answer. " Charles Dickens." I answered proudly.

Ms. Stanley nodded. "Now class..." I cut everyone out and got out my sketch pad.

I started to sketch portaits of Jared. His cropped black hair, his rounded muscles, his...

"Kim?"

I quickly covered my paper and looked up to see who it was.

_Jared._

I blushed furiously as I realised he probably saw my portrait of him that _I_ drew. I looked at him, confusion written all over my face, but soon realized to reason of his talkng to me. Class was over.

Damn it. I quickly got everything organized and jumped out of seat and ran out the door.

When I looked back I saw Jared with a sad, disappointed look on his beautiful face.

**A/N-** I am sorry if I didn't do a very good job. I try though. I hope you liked it. **Review!** It was make me feel happy.(:


	2. Chapter 2: I Love You

Disclaimer: The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I don't own. Blah, Blah, Blah...

Soo...Thanks all that favorited/reviewed/alerted. I appriciate it. Really. I know I made lots of mistakes in my last chapter and I appologize for that. I actually thought it was pretty good except for the separation lines that wouldn't show up, the puncuation errors, and the spelling errors. I was surprized. I think I find it easier typing it than writing it. Sooo...THANK YOU! :DD

-Your dearest Squirrel :D

* * *

After school I walked home.

I always walk home. I always thought it was embarrassing to ride the bus when most of the students have a car and I don't want to be more of a loser. All of my life I have been an outcast. Alisha, my best friend, is beautiful. Her golden skin and dark brown hair look so exotic with her light blue eyes. I always wanted to look like her. She thinks that she's ugly and that no one would ever like her, but she is seriously wrong. I have seen so many guys drooling over her.

No one ever does that with me.

I am just a plain Jane. I have black hair, russet colored skin, wide face, small brown eyes, and a broad nose and mouth. The only thing I like about myself is my hair. It's naturally straight and it hides the features of my face sometimes.

I was just hideous. My mother and my brother Zach, always tell me how beautiful I am. I always disagree. I am obviously ugly because no one every talks to me. If I was 'beautiful' then people would be asking me on dates and telling me how cute I was. But noooo... I was ugly.

A car horn brought me out of my thoughts. I looked at the car to see Jared smiling at me.

_DAMN! Just my luck. Uhm. Note the sarcasm._

Jared pulled over a little so he wasn't blocking other cars.

"Hey Kim!" He called.

I was amazed. He has never talked to me before. Well, except earlier today, but I ran away from him. I'm such an idiot.

"What?" I asked with false curiousity. I really just wanted him to go away!

He smiled his panty- dropping smile. I melted. I could never resist that smile. " I was just wondering if you wanted a ride home? It looks like it's going to rain soon and your house in farther down the rez. So...come on?"

Why was he being so nice to me? He hasn't noticed me for years! Seriously, I just want to know what his problem was. Why did he have this sudden interest in me?

"Why? Why would you help the poor invisible, ugly girl, Jared!" I screached.

I really don't know why I suddenly flipped my lid ,but it sure got an explaination out of him. An explaination I wasn't expecting at all!

"Because I want to get to know you. And don't ever think of yourself like that. You are beautiful. Your skin, your lips, your hair, everything. Come on, just get in the car. We don't have to talk. I can just drive and drop you off at your house. Okay?"

I was shocked into silence.

He said I was beautiful! EVERY part of me! And he wants to get to know ME! Of all people!

"Kim? Do you want me to take you or not?"

I was taken away from my inner ramblings and brought back to reality by Jared's voice. So husky, so sweet.

I sighed and went to the passenger door of his car. I opened the door and slid into the seat, quietly shutting the door. "Thank you, Jared," I mummbled. " I appriciate it."

Soon after, the clouds started rolling in and it started pouring down rain. I thanked Jared one more time in my head for his graciousness. I was still surprised by his gesture, but gratefull none the less.

An awkward silence came over us and I knew I just had to talk. I needed answers.

I took a deep breath and asked, "Jared? Why do you want to get to know me when you could just 'get to know' everyone else?"

I saw his hands grip the stearing wheel tighter and I instantly regreted asking it. But he answered before I could appoligize. "Kim, I want to get to know you because you are differrent than everyone else. You have natural beauty, you are smart, and you are kind. I know I have done horrible things in the past, but please Kim, just let me in." He pleaded.

Memories of the night with Paul flooded my mind. Tears welled up in my eyes as I imagined if Jared did that to me.

I sniffed. "I-I can't, Jared." _Because I know you will hurt me._

I saw Jared's eyes widen. " Are you crying? What's wrong?" He asked as he pulled up at my house. He shifted in his seat so he was looking at me with concern.

I quickly looked away. " It doesn't matter. Why would you care anyway.?"

I mentally slapped myself for asking that because he has explained that many times already. He looked hurt.

I put my hand on his arm and tears started puoring down my face. "I have my reasons, Jared." I said, wiping my tears.

He looked shocked than really angry. For the first time I was actually scared of him.

"Who did it?" He asked through clenched teeth.

"Who did what? I don't understand." I said. Does he know?

He looked me in the eyes and said, "Kim, please tell me who hurt you."

I gasped in shock. He does know something happened to me. He just doesn't know WHO. I can't tell him though. Paul is his best friend.

_I should have got over what Paul did to me anyway._

Jared suddenly looked more pissed than he was a second ago. "Paul did it?" he growled.

My eyes widened when I realized I said that out loud. I could see him shaking and had the stearing wheel in a death grip. " Jared, Jared! Calm down. It's okay! It was two years ago!" I said.

He calmed down and looked at his lap. "What did he do to you?"

"He- he. Uhm," was my great response.

"Tell me, Kim."

I sighed and said, "He-tried-to-rape-me!"

Jared's eyes darted up to mine. He looked angry. I was instantly scared again. He looked dangerous and ready to kill. "He is going to fucking die,"he growled.

My heart started racing. "No, no. NO! Don't hurt him. It's fine. I kicked him and got away. I was fine. Please. Just, please." I pleaded.

No matter how much I want Jared to hurt Paul, I don't want Jared to get arrested. I hate to see him being pulled away by officers for what he has done. I could never forgive myself for letting the love of my life get arrested.

_Wait...love of my life? Where did that come from!_

"Okay, Kim. I wont hurt him. Just please let me in, I would never hurt you." He whispered .

Before I could react he brought his hand to my face and started stroking my cheek with his thumb. I have always dreamt of him doing this, but I knew it would never happen. This has to be a dream. It just has to. There is no way he would do this...

I sighed and leaned into his hand.

_Wait! What am I doing!_

I quickly moved to the farthest side of the car and looked out the window. I heard Jared sigh beside me. He got out of the car and opened my side.

"Hurry up. I don't want the inside of my car soaked, okay?" Jared said as he helped me out of the seat and up to my front door. " Bye Kim." was all he said before he left me standing by my door in shock.

He suddenly went from gentle to cold in a second. I just don't understand. I guess me giving in then suddenly pushing him away had something to do with it. And again I say, I am such an idiot.

I pulled out my keys from my bag and opened the door.

My big brother raced towards me with concern in his eyes. "Kimmy! Who was that guy! Why was he touching you! What happened?" He questioned.

I sighed and patted his arm. When he relaxed I went to explain. " That's Jared. He goes to my school and he just gave me a ride when it started to rain. He was touching me because he was helping me. Nothing happened. You should trust me more."

He frowned. "Sorry Kim. I was just worried. You have never came home with a boy before and I was just concerned that he forced you to do something. I do trust you, I just wasn't so sure about him."

I totally get it. Jared had a _'growth spurt' _through the night as did Paul and a couple other guys at the school. I'm thinking steriods, but I can't be sure.

"It's fine. I'm going up to my room,okay? I love you." I said giving him a hug than running up the stairs.

I pulled out my sketch pad and started drawing. I usually draw when I'm confused, bored, mad, or sad. Today, confusion.

I started drawing me and Jared by the beach, holding hands and laughing. I always wished for this. I have had many dreams of this. Me and Jared kissing, laughing, smiling, but I knew this would never happen. He could never love a plain girl like me. One could only hope.

I sighed and layed down my sketches then layed down on my bed, falling into a deep sleep.

_"Kim? We're taking the kids to the park, remember? So get dressed, please!" A voice called from the other room._

_"Okay?" I called back, unsure._

_I just really wanted to know what was going on and who was in the other room._

_Just when I was about to get up Jared walks through the door._

_Totally a dream..._

_"Hey, baby," He laughed. "You still haven't gotten out of bed yet?"_

_Unable to speak, I simply nodded._

_He smiled. "I guess I'll have to get you out of bed myself." He said walking over to my side of the bed. He carefully picked me up and kissed me passionately. I wrapped my arms around his neck and deepened the kiss._

_His tounge traced my bottom lip and parted them, letting him enter. I sighed as he pulled away._

_"Why did you do that?" I grumbled. I just really didn't want him to stop. I wanted that moment to last forever._

_He laughed. "Park, remember? Get dressed, babe. I love you."_

_"I love-"_

I was woken by a loud knocking.

Fuck my life.

"Kimmmyyyyy! Dinner's ready! It's chicken! YUM!" Zach yelled through the door.

_Damn you, Zachery! I was having the best dream ever, but you just had to wake me up. Thanks a lot, asshole._

Before I left my room I thought I saw a large wolf at the edge of the woods staring at me throught my bedroom window.

* * *

"Kim, do you want to go to this party at Jacob Black's house tonight? Grace is going to be there. She is actually the one that invited us. It starts at 8p.m. Come on, Kim. It will be good for you. Get your mind off things." Alisha said as I went rummaging through my locker.

God, I really hate it when she does this. She always gives me shit. Why the hell would i go to Jacob's party anyway if Paul and Jared is going to be there. Jacob is part of their 'group' and Jared's little Barbie is going to be there too I figure. I wouldn't want to witness them making out or worse, having sex!

I shuddered at the thought.

"No..." I said slamming my locker. "I won't go, Ali."

"But why?" She whined. "Is this about Paul? If it is then you have nothing to worry about. He hasn't even bothered you in a long time. Come on, don't you think that's stupid of you?" Pause. "Oh, I get it now. It's about Jared." She mocked.

Can't she ever let my stupid crush with Jared go? Seriously. It's like she has nothing better to do than guilt me about it. It's not like I can help who I'm attracted to.

"No, that's not it. Neither of them," I lied. "I just don't want to intrude."

_Liar._

Alisha smiled. Her white teeth shining. "Oh trust me, you won't!" What's that supposed to mean? "Come on, Kim. It will be fun! You never party and you will feel just great! Go with me. Please." She asked, sticking her bottom lip out.

I sighed. No one can ever say no to that face. "Fine! I'll go. Only for a little bit."

Alisha jumped up and hugged me. "Yay! We will have a great time! We have to go shopping! Come on, Kimmy! We must pick out something fantastic!" She squeeled.

_Oh great..._

* * *

A/N- Soooo... Did you like it? I'm kinda doubtful. Anyways...

I meant to post this yesterday or the day before , but I was busy! lol. I'm glad you guys liked my first chapter and I'm hoping you like this one too...

Review?


	3. Chapter 3: Party

Disclaimer: The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I don't own. Blah, Blah, Blah...

Soo...Thanks all that favorited/reviewed/alerted. I appriciate it. I'm glad you are enjpying it so far. I hope you like this chapter. :P

Oh, and my computer wasn't working so that's why I didn't get this updated sooner. n.n

-Your dearest Squirrel :{D

* * *

"Come on! Kim, try these dresses on!" Alisha commanded as she dumped a pile of dresses on the seat in the dressing room.

I gaped at the mountain of dresses.

_She has got to be crazy. There is no way I am trying all those dresses on._

She glared at me and said, "Try them on. When you have one on come out here and I'll have a look. We will keep going till you have the prefect dress. You will look amazing. Go on now. I'll wait out here." She gently pushed me in the dressing room until I was sitting on the seat. She nodded at the dresses and walked out, closing the door behind her.

I sighed and picked up the first dress. It was a pink, flowy dress that went all the way to my ankles. I took my clothes off and slipped it on.

I looked in the mirror and I looked absolutly horrible. I didn't want Alisha to see me in this horrid dress. She would most likely yell at me for some stupid reason then push me back in here.

I slid it off and grabbed the next one on the pile. It was yellow that went about to my knees and had long sleeves. I looked in the mirror and I thought I looked pretty good. But I knew Alisha would think it wasn't enough.

I slowly opened the door and walked out. Ali looked me over and then gave me a disapproving stare.

_How was I supposed to know you wouldn't like it? And how was it MY fault? I didn't even pick out the dresses!_

About 14 dresses later I came to this gorgeous black dress. It was strap-less and went to about mid-thigh. It had little tiny specks of sliver that sparkled whenever light was shining on it. It was truly amazing.

I pulled on the dress and zipped it up. I looked in the mirror and thought I looked beautiful. Stunning. I was beyond surprised. I never thought I could look this way. I guess with the right clothes you can look as good as you want.

I smiled and stepped out of the dressing rooms. Alisha's eyes widened and she grinned at me. "That is just perfect, Kim! Amazing! You look absolutly stunning! While, you were in there I got my dress so we can go to other places to get your accessories now, okay?" She asked in a rush.

_She's addicted to shopping. How can someone be addictied to SHOPPING?_

I sighed and we went to the check out area. We were called over by a woman so she could check us out.

We set our things on the counter and she rang them up. She looked at the computer screen. "That will be... 1,545 dollars."

I gaped at her. _What? THAT much? For two dresses? _

Alisha whipped out her credit card and scanned it.

"Thank you for shopping. Have a great day!" the woman called.

Alisha dragged me to the car and put everything in the back seats. She sighed at turned the car on, sliding out of the parking lot and into the street.

When I finally got back the ability to talk I said,"You didn't have to spend that much. I could have payed for it."

She sighed and started drumming her fingers on the steering wheel. "I wanted to. I know I haven't been the most supportive friend ever, but I wanted to make it up to you. Besides, my parents are rich. It's not like we use the money on our house, so we have lots of money saved up. They don't care what I spend it on. They just want me to have a fun life. So come one and let me buy you some clothes." She laughed.

I sighed. _Couldn't argue with that. _"Okay..."

* * *

"Let's get you ready!" Alisha said, jumping up and down in excitment.

_Oh, God. Help me._

She grabbed my arm and pulled me into her room. She pulled out the dresses and set them on her bed. "Okay. Go sit by my make-up desk. We will have to do your make-up so you look absolutly perfect."

I walked over to her desk and sat down. She made he way over to me and opened a couple of her drawers, pulling out black eye-liner, mascara, different colors of eye shadow, pink lip-slick and clear gloss, foundation, and blush.

My eyes widened at the make-up laying in front of me. There was so much stuff. I never use make- up, well except for lip gloss I use accasionally.

She smiled at me. "I almost forgot. Before we do your make- up we have to do your hair! Should we make it more straight or curly? I think curly. You will look so hot! Guys will be drooling over you." She stated.

_Yeah right. Like that's ever going to happen._

She pluged everything in and did some of my make-up while it was heating up.

"Okay. Now with your hair." She said, grabbing the curling iron.

* * *

I looked over at Alisha. She was dressed in a dark purple dress with side- sleeves and it ended about mid- thigh like mine. It hugged all her curves and she looked beautiful. Her black high- heels. Her make-up was done with a smoky eye, pink lip-stick, foundation, mascara, and black eyeliner.

She was stunning. I paled in comparison to her. She looked like a goddess.

I just looked like a normal girl. My make-up was also done in a smoky eye, with pink lip-gloss. I had black eyeliner, and mascara, and foundation, but I just couldn't pull it off as good as her. I had on silver high-heels that were about 2 inches tall. My hair was curled and I had black bracelets on my wrists. My nails were painted silver with black tips. I looked okay. Certainly wont get Jared's attention. Not that I want it or anything.

Alisha grabbed my wrist. "It's time to go. Jacob's party has started look beautiful by the way." She said, smiling sincerely.

I smiled back and followed her out the door and to Jacob Black's house.

* * *

When we arrived we were greated by Jacob.

He smiled at us. "Hi Alisha, Hello...Kim." He said hesitantly. "Nice to see you two here. Alisha, you know the way around, show Kim. Okay?"

She nodded and pulled me through the doors. She pointed at the stairs. "Don't go up there. I mean Ewww!" She pointed foward. "The kitchen." Left. "The dancing area." Right. "A sitting area. And out those doors by the kitchen, that leads to the backyard. His parents house is really nice. I'm surprised his parents even let him have the parties. I even asked his parents if he was supposed to be having them and they said yes. I was amazed."

She wasn't the only one. I never even knew this was Jacob's house! I have always wondered who's it was because there was no other house as big as this in La Push. It's amazing.

I sighed and followed Ali to the kitchen. "Hey, Kim. You want something to drink?" she asked.

_I guess one cup wouldn't hurt. Right?_

I nodded my head. "Sure." She smiled at me and poured something in a red plastic cup.

"I'll meet with you later Kimmy. Go have fun." Before I could respond, she was in the crowd and out of sight.

I sighed and walked around. I ended up going outside in his backyard. I noticed he had a pool with fountains and lights. He also had a seating area.

I started walking around the house until I came to a halt by someone talking.

"Why the fuck would you do that to her!" I heard someone yell.

_Jared._

"I didn't do anything!" Someone answered, clearly frightened.

_Paul. Oh my god. _

I quietly walked to the corner of the house and hid in a bush.

I saw Jared holding Paul to the side of the house. They were both shaking violently.

I was frightened. I let out a soft whimper.

Paul and Jared looked my way simultaneously.

I gulped and ducked behind the bush.

"Kim?" I heard Jared say.

I sighed. I already knew they saw me so what's really the point in hiding?

I took a quick gulp from my cup and twisted my face as the strong liquid ran down my thoat.

It wasn't pleasant but it calmed me down. I slowly got out of my 'hiding' place and stood there, looking at the dirt at my feet.

"Kim?" He asked again.

I shifed uncomfortably. "Why did you hurt him?" I asked quietly.

Paul's eyes filled with sudden anger. "You told him! You fucking bitch!" He yelled as he stalked over to me.

_Oh My Gosh. _

"Don't hurt me. Don't hurt me. Don't hurt me." I kept chanting over and over.

I was so scared at that moment that I sat on the ground covering my face with my hands.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. I quickly looked up to see it was Jared. Tears started pouring down my cheeks and I had a feeling my make-up was running everywhere.

A blush started to appear on my face.

"I got Paul to leave. Are you okay?" He questioned softly.

I shook my head 'no'. "I'm scared of him, Jared."

He nodded. "I know."

We sat there looking at each other. I looked away so he couldn't see the love in my eyes.

"Oh, Uhm." He cleared his throat. "You want me to take you home?" He asked.

I looked at him. Should I go with him? But Alisha took me here. Well, I guess she can take her car to get home and I'll send her a quick text.

I nodded. "That would be okay. Let me text Alisha and tell her that your dropping me off."

I grabbed my purse I brought in with me and took out my phone. I quickly text Alisha.

_A,_

_Jared is taking me home._

_Paul tried to hurt me so he offered to take me back to my house._

_And before you jump to conclusions, just DROPPING me off._

_So don't come looking for me._

_Talk to you later._

_-Kim_

"Okay. I'm ready." I said.

Jared nodded and got up, pulling me up with him. "Come on. Let me take you home."

* * *

**A/N: **Soooo...did you like it? Less action packed than I originally planned, but I still liked it.

Again, I say I'm sorry for not updating sooner. It wasn't my fault. :P

So please **REVIEW **to make me feel better.((:


	4. Chapter 4: The Reasons For What I Did

**Disclaimer:** I do not own these characters, (Well, most of them) They belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer, I just wanted to play with them. ^-^

Sooo...Thanks for the reviews.(:

FanFiction was having some technical difficulties too and that's another reason I didn't get the update sooner. Someone helped me out and I just wanted to say **THANK YOU! **:DD

I hope you like this chapter! :DD

-Your Dearest Squirrel :{D

* * *

I touched my cheek, still feeling the heat of Jared's kiss.

My blush was burning my face as I walked up into my room.

He kissed me. _JARED_ kissed _ME_. It may not have been the kind of kiss I was hoping for, but it will do.

I sighed happily.

I heard a knock at the door. My thoughts of Jared quickly vanished as I opened the door to find my mom.

"Hi honey. How was the party? I didn't get to see your dress, so I just wanted to check it out before you went to bed. Turn around for me. I want to see my beautiful daughter." she said, grinning.

I smiled and did a small twirl.

My mom sighed. "You look absolutly stunning, my beautiful, beautiful girl. That dress is amazing." She looked happy to see me dressing up like a girl again. I usually just wear skinny jeans, or regular jeans with a T-shirt. I guess she really misses how I dressed before.

I smiled." Thank you Mom. I'm going to take a shower and stuff. Then I will go to bed. I love you mom." I hugged her and she kissed me cheek.

"Goodnight, Kim."

I closed the door and went into my bathroom. I quickly took off my make-up and hopped in the shower.

I washed my hair and my body before stepping out and wrapping a soft towel around my body.

I walked out and into my bedroom, searching for a pair of comfy pants, underwear, and a T-shirt to wear for bed.

I pulled out a pair out a pair of panties, a black shirt, and pink sleep shorts.

I dropped my towel and put everything on.

Seeing a movement from out my window, my gaze snapped to the woods. I saw the wolf there again, wide eyed and looking shocked. His brown hair blowing in the wind.

I blushed. I'm not really sure why, but I felt embarrassed that he saw me naked.

I waved at my wolf and closed the blinds.

I stepped away from the window, laying on my bed, dreaming of Jared and my wolf.

* * *

"KIM!" Alisha screeched when I walked out of my house and into Ali's car.

_Oh God. Here it comes._

"What?" I asked, sighing. I knew what she was going to ask me and I was **NOT** looking forward to it.

"What happened with Jared?" _There she goes..._

I blushed as I remembered him kissing my cheek. _And there I go..._

"What happened!" She asked again, noticing my blush on my cheeks.

"Nothing. He just took my home and I went to bed. That's it." _At least it wasn't a whole lie._

She gave an annoyed look. "Yeah, sure. Now tell me!"

I sighed in defeat. Nothing can get passed her. "He kissed me. But it was only on the cheek! So don't freak out."

She smiled. "I knew something happened between you too. I also heard that Paul and Jared got into something. Give me the details, honey." she said as we finally pulled out of my driveway.

I growled. "Nothing." I just really didn't want to talk bout Paul right now. My good mood has already vanished, I don't want to make it worse.

She sighed."Tell me! Please Kim. I'll keep it to myself. Please?" She asked with a pleading tone.

"No. End of discussion. I'm sorry Alisha. I just don't want to talk about it." I was pleading now. I just couldn't talk about it.

"Okay, Kim. I won't push you anymore." She said.

We parked in the school parking lot and I opened the door when she stopped the car.

I waited for Alisha then we walked into our school.

I was ready to face Paul. I wanted to. I _had_ to. This pain had to end.

* * *

"Well, hello Kimberly." Paul greeted me.

"Yeah. Hi." I growled._ I had no time to put up with his shit._

"What do I owe this honor?"

I sighed. "I have some questions for you."

"What do you want to know?" He asked hesitantly.

"Why me, Paul? Why me?" I asked in a whisper.

He looked distressed. "What?" he asked, acting like he didn't understand what I was saying.

"You heard me." I barked.

His eyes closed, but then opened nd looked right into my eyes. "I don't know."

My mouth opened in shock. How could he _not_ know. He was the one that came up to me and asked me on a date then nearly raped me.

"I just don't know, Kim. I've been through a lot. I turned horrible because I wanted contol. I wanted the pain to go away. I wanted someone to feel the pain that i went through. Well maybe a part of it. I really don't want to talk about it." he said with a pained look on his face.

I was shocked, but I was able to respond. "Tell me. I have been through nightmares. Most involve you. They are you. I've always been terrified of you. What you did, what you could've done. I've cried myself to sleep every night. I've been hted by everyone here all my life because I was plain and ugly. You made the teasing worse. You hurt me beyond repair. I think you owe me a damn explaination so I can get some of the pain to go away. I need this. Please, Paul." I whispered, still glued in place, not able to move.

His eyes filled with tears. I could see pain in his eyes. Not just for him, but for me. "I did that to you?" I nodded. He started to walk towards me and I whimpered. He immediatly stopped. "I won't hurt you. I will explain to you why I've done these things. Well, I'll start at the beginging." Pause. "When I was little, my father died and my mother soon remairried. I was mad that she replaced my dad and soon started acting up." he gave a humorless laugh. "I was quite the badass. Anyway, my 'step-father' started getting pissed at my behavior and started beating me." I let out a gasp. _He was abused? Oh God._

"I would always appologize, but it never helped any. He would just beat me harder. Telling me I was worthless, a disappointment. He physically and emotionally abused me. My mother didn't know. John, my step-father, would make me lie to her and tell her I fell or got beat up by someone. A year of being abused my mother soon found out. John was mad at me for being a pest and mad at my mother for finding out, he flipped out and stabbed her. She was in the hospital being taken care of by Carlisle Cullen and the nurses there_."_ He sneered the name Cullen. "He took care of her and she was better, but she got distant. She wouldn't talk to anyone. Not even me. A few years of silence I started taking advantage of girls, like yourself. I couldn't stand the pain. It needed to end. The sad thing is, is that it never got better. The using of girls made everything worse, but I enjoyed it for a while, until it was over. Pain engulfed me. I'm so sorry, Kim. I was horrible to everyone. Mostly to you. I wasn't aware that you had already had emotional problems. Please forgive me." he pleaded with his eyes.

My eyes were wide from what I just heard. "I...I don't know." He has put me into so much pain I couldn't forgive him right now. "Give me time, Paul. I'm still taking in your story. I'll get back to you later." I said trying to get away from him. His pain was coming off in waves and filling me with the pain he has.

As I was leaving I heard him say, "Please don't block out Jared for what I've done to you. He has a good soul and a good heart. Just let him in. He likes you. More than you can imagine."

* * *

**A/N: **I felt the need for a little talk with Paul. So now you know his selfish reasons. :P

I felt the need to make another chapter for my tardyness (xD) of my last chapter.

I hope you like it. :P

Please **REVEIW!** It makes me feel happy inside.(:


	5. Chapter 5: Friends?

**Disclaimer:** I do **not** own these characters. Only some of them, ;D They belong to Stephenie Meyer. I just felt like messing with them a little(;

So, from what I got from my last chapter...it was okay. Thanks all that reviewed. I appriciate you taking the time to do gives me a confidence boost. When people don't review I feel all sad. So Thanks for reviewing. ^_^

I hope you like this chappy :DD

* * *

Paul's words kept running through my head.

_"Please don't block out Jared for what I've done to you. He has a good soul and a good heart. Just let him in. He likes you. More than you can imagine."_

i just couldn't imagine it being true. There was no way. I was a nobody.

The tardy bell sounded and I hurried the my class. I guess I was too concentrated on the conversation with Paul that I didn't hear the warning bell.

When I reached my was glaring at me. "Why are you late, Kim?"

My brain searched for an excuse, coming up with nothing. "I'm sorry, Ms. Stanley." I said as I saw Paul giving me an appoligetic look.

_How did he get here so damn fast?_

She nodded. "Good. This is your first tardy. So I will let you off with a warning. Now go to your seat."

I slowly made my way to the space by Jared.

He gave me a small smile as I sat down. I quickly looked down at my notebook.

He sighed. I felt bad for not looking at him, but I wasn't sure how to act after him kissing me and what Paul had said.

I blocked everything else out and began to draw. I wasn't sure what I was drawing at first, but soon I realized it started to look like my wolf.

I sighed when the bell rang and got up to leave. When my eyes met Jared's he blushed and looked away.

_Why did he blush? What's with him? Did I do something wrong. I'm so confused. I thought I was supposed to be the person avoiding his gaze._

His blush was still burning his cheeks when he quickly left the room.

_What. The. Hell?_

* * *

The day dragged on and I was happy when the bell rung, telling everyone school was out.

I put everything in my locker except for the materials needed for homework tonight. I slung my backpack over my shoulder and walked out of the school's doors.

I tensed when I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. I slowly turned to see Paul. His eyes were sad and he looked at me expectingly.

I knew he wanted my answer and I had it. I gave it a lot of thought and I thought we could at least be friendly towards one another.

"Will you forgive me?" he asked. His eyes were filled with more sadness and pain than before.

I sighed. "Not intirely." He looked at me with confusion written all over his face."I can't forget what you did. It will haunt me forever. But I do want us to be friends. Like, we will talk and be friendly towards each other, things like that. Okay?" I said giving him a small smile.

His eyes lit up. "Really? Thank you so much! I'm still sorry though. It will haunt me forever too. Thank you for giving me a chance." he said sincerly. "Anyway, did you talk to Jared today?"

I frowned. _No..._ "Nope. He wouldn't talk to me. I was ignoring him anyway. I don't think you were right. He doesn't like me."

Paul looked slightly confused, but realization hit him. He chuckled. "He does like you. He was just a little...embarrassed about something."he said, still chuckling.

I gave him a confused look. _What the hell is he talking about?_

"Forget about it, Kim. Do you want a ride home?"he asked.

I hesitated before opening his car door and getting in.

Paul smiled at me when he slid into the front seat. "Okay. Sooo, you like Jared then?" he asked suddenly when we drove out of the parking lot.

My cheeks flushed. "No." I lied.

"I can tell your lying." he said accusingly.

"That's just because I'm blushing!" I screeched at him.

"So you _do_ like him?" he asked grinning at me.

_Fuuuck._

I sighed in defeat. "Yes. I do. I have for years. He hasn't even noticed me until this week. There is no way he could like me."

Paul slammed the brakes and my body flew forward a couple of inches. He looked towards me with confusion and shock on his face. "How could you think he doesn't like you? He almost killed me because I hurt you. You saw it. And I'm glad you came because I would have most likely been dead by now." I shuddered at the thought. "Anyway, why does it matter that he hasn't noticed you so much in the past years. It doesn't change the fact that he likes you now. Hell, I kinda like you." I gasped at his confession and he gave me a wry smile. "Yeah, I think your cute and smart and sensitive. Your nice. Any guy would be lucky to have you in their life. Just give him a chance."

I thought for a moment.

_Do you really think he likes me? Jared possibly likes me? Paul possibly likes me? That's insane! I just hope Jared likes me. It would break my heart if he ends up not liking me. My heart couldn't be able to take it. I just hope Paul's right. _

"Okay Paul. I trust you. Kinda. I just hope your right."

He smiled. "I am _always _right."

"Sure you are, Paul."

* * *

"Kim?" I heard someone call from the other side of my bedroom door.

_Can't they see that I'm trying to sleep?_

"What?" I called out.

"Someone's here to see you," My mother sang. "He says his name is Jared. Do you know anyone with that name?"

_Jared? What does he want?_

"Yeah, mom. I'll be right down."

I quickly pulled on some shorts and a T-shirt. I brushed my hair and then ran down the stairs.

I walked into the living room to find Jared talking to my mother.

"Uhm...no." I heard Jared say.

"You guys aren't going out? You aren't dating. Nothing?" My mom asked.

_Shut the hell up mom. Please. Not only are you embarrassing Jared, your embarrassing me._

I saw Jared shake his head slowly. "No. We are friends though."

_From what you did earlier says otherwise._

"Well, My Kimmy has said something about a boy she likes. I think she said his name was Jared. Well, she said these things when she was sleeping. She talks in her sleep sometimes. It's quite cute actually." my mom gushed.

_Mom! You humiliating me! I should go out there before she does something worse._

I walked out into the living room and Jared's eyes lit up when he saw me.

_He's so handsome._

I sighed. "Hello, Jared. Do you want to go upstair to my room and talk." I glared at my mom. "Don't be easedropping mom."

She put her hand over her heart and gasped im mock shock. "Now why would I ever do that?"

I rolled my eyes. "Because you always do that. And I heard what you were saying to Jared." I saw her eyes widen in surprise. "That's right. I heard most of it."

"Sorry..." she said and wobbled off.

I turned towards Jared. He was smiling at me. I sighed."Come one Jared. Let's go to my room."

Once we got up there Jared's face went serious. "I have a confession to make."

* * *

**Gasp** What's going to happen next? xDD

I really hope you kind of enjoyed this chapter.

I'm sorry that it was short. xD I didn't have a lot of time and I kinda rushed through it a little. Sorry. :[

Please review and tell me what you think(:


	6. Chapter 6: I Have No Place

**Disclaimer:** Most of these characters do not belong to me. They belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer. :D I just played with them a little.

Hello, all! I'm really glad you all liked my last chapter. Thank you for reviewing!

I hope you like my new chappy! :DD

* * *

"I-" Jared took a deep breath. "I lo- like you." he said nervously.

My breath caught in my throat. _What did he just say? Did he almost say he _loved_ me? _

I pushed that thought away and focused on what I was sure he said.

_Jared said he like me. He really does like me! Okay, okay, but what do I say?_

"I like you too." I whispered.

His eyes lit up and he walked over to me. "Really?" He asked, unsure.

I nodded and gave out a humorless laugh. "Yeah...I have for years now. But it's not like you noticed me or anything."

His eyes widened in surprise. Guilt was flooding his eyes. _That's right, I caught you now. Wait- guilt? _

He adverted his eyes and looked down to stare at the floor. "I'm sorry."

I suddenly felt guilty so I layed my hand on his muscular shoulder. He looked up at me, surprised. "It's alright. I'm not the most beautiful girl on the planet. People like you aren't supposed to hang out or talk to people like me."

His eyes narrowed. "Don't you _ever_ say you aren't beautiful. You are beautiful in every way. And don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise." he commanded.

I nodded my head and looked down. "I've wanted you to notice me for so long." I whispered more to myself than to him.

"I have. Just now in a new light."

* * *

After Jared left I took out my journal to write an entry. I haven't wrote in this for a while and I thought it was the right time. I took out a pencil and flipped through the pages to a blank one. I picked up the pencil and started writing.

_June 13,_

_Today Jared admited his feelings for me. I was greatly surprised, but was extremely happy. I was surprised at what he almost said though. I'm not sure that he was going to say this, but he did change it to 'like' which is a smaller version of 'love'._

_I was hoping that's what he said, but I am also scared. I don't exactly know what's happening. He hasn't noticed me for years, but now he comes to me and says he loves me? I just don't understand it. There is no way it's possible. It could be his raging hormones from the steroids he might be taking. Maybe he just wants me for that because he wants every girl he can lay his hands on. I just hate thinking those things about him though, but it just comes to me. I want him to like me just for me, but I just can't believe it. _

_If I tell Alisha about this she won't believe me and call me a liar. I mean, I know it's unbeilievavble, but somewhere in my heart believes every word that comes out of Jared's mouth. Like when he said he liked me. His eyed showed so much love and adoration, I just had to believe him. The love I'm not too sure on. I think I'm just misinterpreting his emotions. That could have been lust, but my heart wanted it to be love so much that that's what I saw flooding his eyes. _

_This is just a lot to take in all at once. Especially after what Paul has said to me. I am happy I have gotten over some of what Paul did. Just enough to be able to talk to him and be by him. It's great to not cringe in fear when I see him or when I hear his rough voice. I think he really appriciates the effort too. I knew he was hurting. I could see it clear in his eyes. I just wish I could help him in some way. I think I did a litte already by forgiving him, but I want to do more. I want him to be the cool, laughing,fun kid that everyone would talk about. The Paul before all this mess. _

_I think this is all I will write about today. Well, I before i go I want to write about this wolf. My wolf. Almost a week ago I noticed a wolf out in the woods behind our house. It has beautiful brown hair and brown eyes. He comes over everyday and I just wonder what's his reason for being here. Is he trying to protect someone? Or just waiting to attack?_

_I like to call him my wolf because i feel safe when I see him looking at me through the window. I always draw him and dream about him. I just wish I knew what he was thinking. It would be a lot more helpful. It would be a lot more easier if he could turn into a human. But that's impossible, right? _

_Well, I think I am going to go now. I hope something good happens so I can write again. I'll watch, wait, and hope for the best. That's all I can do._

* * *

"Jared said he liked you? No way!" Alisha shreaked.

_I so knew this was going to happen. Of course she wouldn't really believe me. _

"Well...that's what he said. I'm just saying." I mummbled.

She grabbed my shoulders and shook me. "Are you sure? That wasn't just a dream your overly obsessed mind believed really happened?" she asked.

I growled. _I am not overly obsessed. I like him, but I'm not obsessed._

Her eyes widened. "Hey, hey. Sorry. I didn't mean it. Come on though. It doesn't really sound possible. Jared coming to your house _uninvited._ Then telling you he likes you. You of all people."

_Why is she acting like a bitch over this? She pretty much said that I was unlikable, obsessed,and my mind is telling me she thinks I'm ugly. That really pisses me off. _

"You have no room to talk! He wouldn't go out with you either! If you don't belive me then I guess we aren't really true friends. I tell you everything and everything I tell you is the truth. Do you really think I would lie to you now?" Pause. "I don't think so. I don't lie to my friends. I am honest at all times. You don't have to bully me when you get jealous!" She gasped at my words. "What? Are you going to say you aren't jealous? Everytime I talk about  
Jared you get all mad and tell me to stop talking about him and get over my obsession. That is most likely jealously. Anyone can see it. I've never mentioned it before because I knew you would deny it. Just like you are going to do now. You have lied to me. You always lie to me. Can't you be a good friend for once?" I screamed and ran down the hall.

While I was running I bumped into a large figure and fell to the floor. I heard someone growl and curse at me. I kept my eyes on the floor as I collected my belongings. A large, muscular hand appeared in front of my face. I looked up and saw Jacob looking down at me. His eyes widened and then he smiled.

"Oh Kim! Sorry about that. I was really frustrated. I didn't mean to get snappy at you."

I nodded and took his hand and said," It's okay," as he pulled me up.

He gave me a mysterious smile. "Sooo...I heared Jared said he liked you." My eyes widened in surprise and he went on. "You know he's just using you, right? Why would he like you? Think about it. You are plain and he can have any other girl. Why would he pick the least hot girl here? All you're good for is a one nighter, or maybe not even that." He laughed and my face turned red. "So, do you still believe him? I just had to tell you the truth before I forgot."

Tears were forming in my eyes at his words.

_He is right, he is absolutly right. Jared would only use me for that, right? What else would I be good for. I am a nobody. No one really cares about the ugly girl. _

I wiped at my face and ran off without another word.

_I guess everyone is right. I don't have a place in this world._

* * *

After the encounter with Jacob I told the principle what happened. Some things were changed so she would let me go home. She said I should call my parents and get them to pick me up.

Sometimes being the most responsible can help you in times like this.

When my mother arrived she looked at my worriedly. "What's wrong, Kim!" she asked.

I shrugged and got in the car.

"What's wrong, hun? Please tell your mama. You know I'll always listen."

Tears were pouring down my cheeks by that time. I started to gently wipe them away as I told her what was bothering me. "You know Jacob Black, right?" I asked my mother. She looked confused, but nodded anyway. "Well, he said some- hurtful things and I guess I had enough. Before I bumped into him in the hallway, I was running away from Alisha because she said some hurtful things also. I don't know what I did to deserve this." I said sobbing.

_'It doesn't really sound possible. Jared coming to your house uninvited. Then telling you he likes you. You of all people.'_

_'Why would he pick the least hot girl here? All you're good for is a one nighter, or maybe not even that.'_

Their words were running through my mind. _They had to be right. Why else would they say it? Why?_

When we got home I ran up to my room and soflty cried myself to sleep.

* * *

**A/N:** Sorry it took kinda long. I have been busy with my family. ^_^ Also...FanFiction wouldn't let me log in. .

I really hope you liked it. Please review and tell me your thoughts.


	7. Chapter 7: Based On Lies

**Disclaimer: **I do NOT own these characters. Stephenie Meyer owns them. :o I just played with them a little! ;D

Hi! I know some of you complained about my short chapters. I am honestly really sorry. I am not used to long chapters. I will try my hardest to write longer chapters. Okay? :DD

Oh and I am also sorry for updating kind of late. I don't have as much free time as I would like.

* * *

I woke up to a soft ringing.

I sighed and rubbed my eyes.

When I could see clearly, I grabbed my phone.

I flicked it open. "Hello?" I grumbled.

_I was **not** good in the mornings._

"Kim! I am so, so, so, so, SO sorry! I admit I was being a bitch, but I was jealous and surprised. I really love you as a friend and I want the best for you! Please, please, please be my friend again. I know I haven't been honest in the past, but that's all over now. I will try to be as honest as I possibly can!" Alisha said hurriedly.

My eyes widened in surprise. _Did our friendship really mean that much to her? _

"Alisha? Why are you calling? I thought you didn't care."

I knew that wasn't the best thing to say, but I was still kinda pissed.

I heard a sniff on the other end.

_Alisha's crying?_

"I'm so sorry I made you feel that way. I have never had a friend like you. I was so scared you were going to leave me that I wanted you to get away from Jared. That's why I was jealous. Not because I like him. I definitely don't. I just wanted you to stay with me. I love you, Kimmy." She cried.

_Wow. I never knew she liked me that much. I just thought I was just a normal friend. This is just amazing. _

"Shh-It's okay Alisha. Our friendship really means a lot to me too. I don't want it to end either. I love you, Ali." I said sincerely.

"Real-really?"she asked.

"Of course. Hey...can you come over at about," I looked at the clock and saw it was 4:42 a.m. "11:00 a.m.? I have a lot on my mind and I really need a friend."

"Of course honey. Anything you need. I am so sorry I called at this time. I just really needed to talk to you. Now go to bed and I'll be over later. Love ya." She said and the line went dead.

I smiled. _It's good knowing I have one good friend. Now I just have to go to sleep and when I wake up, tell Alisha about Jared._

My heart quickened at the thought. _I really didn't want to do that, but who else can I tell? She might understand, or she might just tell me 'I told ya so!'_

I sighed and snuggled up in the blankets.

I slowly drifted back into sleep

* * *

I woke up at 10 a.m from the beeping of my alarm clock.

I groaned and slowly sat up.

Once I was ready to get out of the bed, I walked into the bathroom to take a quick shower.

I took of my clothes after I got the water to the temperature I'm comfortable with.

I stepped in the shower and started cleaning my body and my hair.

When I was done I wrapped a towel around myself.

I smiled at myself in the mirror. After all that has happened yesterday, I still look bright and alive. It's amazing.

I laughed at myself. _What am I thinking? Looking into my eyes you can see how heart broken I am. You can see they betrayal and pain in them. I seemed broken. _

I really need Alisha.

I opened the bathroom door and stepped into my bedroom. I slowly walked to my closet and dresser.

I pulled open one of my drawers of my dresser and pulled out a panty and bra set.

I went into my closet and grabbed dark colored skinny jeans and a tight purple t-shirt.

Laying back down on my bed, I closed my eyes and started to remember the good times with Jared.

**-Flashback- **

"_Hey Kim. Do you,um, maybe want to go to the park later?" Jared asked nervously. "It's okay if you don't want to. I didn't mean to assume you'd just go with me. Sorry, but,um, will you go?"_

_My eyes widened in surprise. _He sure knows how to surprise someone. I mean a park? This hunk wants to go to a park? With me? _"Okay!"I said enthusiastically. _

_He smiled and stroked my hand as we headed to our next class. Together._

**-End of Flashback-**

A few more minutes of remembering I heard the doorbell and I quickly ran down the stairs and opened the front door. Instead of Alisha , the person standing before me was Jared.

I could feel a knot forming in my throat, as I was fighting back tears. I saw concern in Jared's eyes.

I quickly looked away. _He doesn't love you. Don't fall for it again. He'll just use you. Just like he does with everyone else. _

I could feel Jared's eyes on me so I quickly looked up and asked him one thing my mind could make at the moment. "Why are you here?"

He looked completely confused. "Am I not allowed to see my girlfriend?"

I shook my head. "Just go okay? I am done with your games. Just leave me alone." I said and started to close the door.

"Kim! Plea-"he was cup off by sound of the door slamming.

Tears were rolling off my cheeks as I sank down to the floor, covering my face with my hands.

That was absolutely the hardest thing I've had to do in a long time.

* * *

There was a loud knocking at my front door. I quickly got off the couch and looked out the window to see if it was Alisha. When I saw her waiting impatiently at the door I smiled and let her in.

"Sorry I'm late. Kinda." she apologized. "I was getting ready. So, what's wrong? It's been buggin' me all night." She poked me and fell back onto the couch.

I sighed. "Jared was using me." She gasped and I held up my hand, asking her to be silent. "Don't go 'I told you so!' because I won't listen. I'll just end up kicking you out of my house. And that won't do much good." She shook her head, agreeing with me. "So. I just don't know what to do." My calm and cool mask was starting to fade and tears were pooling in my eyes.

Her eyes filled with sadness and sympathy. "I am so sorry, honey. Come here." She patted her leg.

I slowly made my way over to her and sat on her leg. She gently wrapped her arms around me.

_I really miss this. _

My shoulders started shaking and I noticed I was crying, once again.

* * *

"Aha! I have a mix CD in my car! Let me get it!" Alisha said, getting up and running out to her car.

_A CD?Really? Yeah, that will cheer me up. A LOT. _

I rolled my eyes.

She came running in and slammed the door. She held out a CD to me and I hesitantly took it. "What's this?" I asked, irritation clear and obvious in my voice.

She ignored my irritation and went on to explain. "Well, that CD has 'I'm over you' , 'I hate you', 'I miss you', 'I love you', songs like that on there."

_Are you kidding me? She is crazy sometimes._

"Huh." I said with curiosity. _I am kinda curious on what songs she has on this. _"So this is mine?"

She nodded her head. "Of course. I really hope you like it." she looked over at the clock and her eyed widened. "I have to go. My mom told me to be home an hour ago, so I must leave. I'll see you tomorrow,okay?" she asked as she headed towards the door.

I nodded, even though she couldn't see me. "Okay. Bye, Alisha. Thanks for coming over."

"Your welcome. Call me if you need me. I'll be there. Bye Kimmy."

I smiled at her kindness and went up to my room. I got out my CD player and put in the disk.

I laughed at the first song on. It was so ironic that it was funny.

_Listen up cause this is not the end_

_Your the last thing that crossed my mind._

_Relationships are based on trust,_

_but I guess this one was based on lies._

I actually enjoyed the listening to the song because Falling In Reverse was my favorite band. Well,one of them anyway.

_You'll say you will never change,_

_I say that's too bad._

_I'm sorry for all the things that you and I could have had_

_But it's your fault for all the stupid things_

_That you and I have done and said._

_The lies, the cries_

_It's not wonder that you are dead._

I just wish I could forget Jared.

* * *

**A/N: **Okay! So I finally got this chapter up! I really hope you like it. I kinda feel bad for the way Kim acted towards Jared. Poor Jared.

I guess we'll have to talk to Kimmy about this, won't we?

**Song Recommendation: **

Listen Up by Falling In Reverse

* * *

I really like that song. And I thought it kind of worked for that part of the story. And don't get all mad at me if you don't like that kind of music

**Raises hands up** I just like them. Don't criticize me about that. xD

Oh and I noticed this is still a short chapter, I'm working on it. Sorry. xP


	8. Chapter 8: I Missed You

**Disclaimer: **I am obviously **not** SM. I could never write as good as her. xD

Soo...I didn't get many reviews last chapter...so I don't know how I did. Please, please, please review so I know how I did and what I need to do better. :P

It would help bunches. :D

I hope you enjoy this next chapter!

* * *

I was officially an emotional wreck.

I was hoping it would never come to this. I never wanted to be in this stage.

The crying, distancing yourself from others, and all that.

I wouldn't let anyone into my room. I wouldn't come out. My mother would keep trying to get me out but gave up one the third day. She would leave my food out by the door, after telling me of course.

I don't know why I'm acting like this. I have never acted like this before. I have never felt like this before.

After I started distancing myself from Jared, it felt as if a part of me was missing. I felt I would die if I never got to see him again. Like I _can't _live without him. I think I was falling in love with him.

_That's a shocking thought._

I think I actually have to talk to him.

* * *

"Alisha," I whispered into the phone. "I have to talk to Jared."

I heard her gasp on the other end. "What? Are you fucking crazy? You are just going to get hurt again."

"I know. I just might get hurt again. I just want to know why. Why is he using me. What I did to deserve this. I just want to know."

She sighed. "Okay. Just please be careful. I'll see you later. Oh-when are you planning to ask him?"

I though for a minute. "Probably at his party tomorrow. I was invited anyway. I might as well go and get things set straight."

"Okay. That's logical, but we need to go and buy a dress for you. You need to look great. So I'm going to come over about, oh maybe, two. Is that okay?"

I nodded. "It sure is. So your going to take me shopping and getting me ready tomorrow?" I asked.

"Yeppers. You will look _fabulous!" _she sang.

I giggled. "Okay. See you later."

"Bye!" I shut my cell phone and set it on my table.

I really am looking forward on spending time with my friend.

* * *

I looked at the time and noticed it was 1:13.

I instantly started getting my clothes on to be ready for Alisha.

I put on gray skinny jeans, a red tank top, red converse, and a gray headband.

I looked at myself in the full size mirror and was satisfied with what I saw.

A few minutes of listening to music, I heard the doorbell ring.

I flew down the stairs and opened the door. Alisha was waiting there with a smile on her face.

"It's nice to finally see you." she teased. "You haven't been to school in years."

I laughed. "Yeah,yeah. Whatever."

"Are you ready to go get our dresses and stuff?" she asked excitedly.

"Yeah. Let's go!"

We ran out to the car and got in. Ali plugged in her i-Pod touch and turned on a song.

To Plant a Seed by We Came As Romans blasted from the speakers.

Alisha started singing along. I laughed and decided to sing along also.

_**Each branch outstretched And different from the rest.**_

_**Where the old have broken off, some easier than the rest.**_

_**The right ones have grown in to fill the gaps.**_

_**And all are equal to love and trust.**_

_**And all are a part of something so much bigger than this.**_

_**Through the trials our tongues are tied, to trying times, so many unsaid lines.**_

_**Our lives were over in so many moments, so many moments.**_

_**And now there all just beginning, now there all just beginning.**_

_**Our lives were over in so many moments.**_

_**I have never been so consumed and I have never loved it more.**_

_**To be devoted to letting it all see what it is to live in the love of others.**_

_**To live in the love of my brothers.**_

_**And spilling back on anyone has ever spilled one me.**_

_**To show that to those who have never seen.**_

_**Four years ago we planted a seed.**_

_**Found the foundation that we need.**_

_**Strived for the perfect balance, to show love and show compassion.**_

_**And our vision for this world will not die when we are dead. When we are dead.**_

_**When we are dead!**_

_**My future started with the first note that I ever played.**_

_**The first note that was ever sang.**_

_**Mt future started with the first note that I ever played!**_

_**The first note that was ever sang.**_

_**The first note that was ever sang.**_

_**When we started living with purpose and writing with meaning.**_

_**This is what we were made for.**_

_**Every day I live this future.**_

We smiled at each other when the song was over and we laughed.

It was good to be with Alisha and do the things we used to.

Ever since my feeling of Jared started to deepen, we stopped doing things like this. It was like we couldn't stand being near each other now. But it's different now. We understand each other.

We care about each other. And I'm hoping to keep that in place.

* * *

"Come on Kim!" Alisha yelled. "We are here! We must get you the perfect dress!"

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Okay. Let's do this." _Just like old times._

I laughed to myself and went after her. I opened the door to what looked like a really _really expensive dress store._

My jaw dropped and I gulped.

_I don't have this kind of money! How can I buy anything!_

Alisha sighed when she looked at me. "Stop worrying about the price. You are not paying. I am. I will not let you pay for a dress. It's a gift from me to you. Take it as a... sorry present. You deserve it."

I shook my head. "No. Don't do that. I can just buy a cheap dress. It would be a lot less money and take less time. So don't."

She gave me puppy dog eyes. "Pleeeaaaasssse? Let me do this for you. I know you don't have too much money and I do. I want to do something really nice. And shopping is the way to do it for me. Please let me. Please." She clasped her hands and held them in front of her chest, as if praying for me to agree to her ways. And she obviously got what she wanted. "Fine. Do whatever you want. I don't care."

She squealed and twirled around. "I am going to find the perfect dress for you. I'll make it sexy _and_ fancy like. You will look perfect. I promise." She said before disappearing behind a a rack of dresses.

I sighed and looked around to see if I could possibly find something I like and something that Alisha approved of.

I too notice to a pile of dresses by the dressing rooms that weren't there before.

_Obviously Alisha._

I grumbled and went looking for her.

When I finally found her I tapped on her shoulder, making her jump. She put her hand over her heart as she turned around to see who it was.

I narrowed my eyes and she just looked at me innocently. I pointed to the ginormous pile of dresses. "Are those _all _mine?"

She nodded her head, in a way that made me feel I was the dumbest person on earth.

"Okay. I'll get to it."

On my way over to the dressing rooms I heard Ali say, "Don't forget to come out here wearing those dresses so I can see hoe they look on you!"

I shook my head and grabbed the pile, shutting the door changing into the first dress.

* * *

"How does this look?" I asked twirling around in a slow circle.

I was wearing a deep purple dress with black accents around the sleeves, neckline, and bottom of the dress. It ended around the knees and flowed as I moved around. I personally thought it wasn't my style and I think Alisha agreed with me as her nose crinkled and she shooed me away.

"Go try on another one."

I nodded my head and made my way back into the dressing room.

I tried on the next one. "No"

Next. "Definitely not."

Next. "Nope."

Next. "Ew."

Next. "You don't look that good in that color."

Next. "I don't think so."

Next. "Perfect!"

I smiled because I was happy I finally got something she liked so we could get out of here.

The dress had black silk for the chest, below was a teal bow, and flowed down with a zebra print. It was a little above the knee and I can honestly say I looked hot in it. I actually looked good for once.

Alisha smiled at me through my reflection. "You look awesome. That is a great dress and perfect for you. Speaking of dresses, do you want to see mine?" she asked.

I nodded. _It was probably going to be dark, hot, and awesome. Like always. _

And I was right.

The top was black lace and kind of had the look of a corset. It has a tightness to it and it made her body look more curvy. It had spaghetti straps and had a small bow in the middle of the chest area. The bottom flowed out and had silk underneath, covered with see-through lace. It was absolutely stunning on her.

I smiled at her. "You look great. Way better than me."

She suddenly got a serious look. "Don't bag on yourself. You are beautiful, even though I say you are ugly. I am just jealous. You have a natural beauty. Mine is more,um, forced? I guess."

I blushed at the compliment. "Thanks. And you are beautiful Alisha. I'm actually jealous of you."

_Isn't that the truth. _

He eyes widened and she broke out into a grin. "Thanks Kim. That's sweet."

I laughed and we went to pay for our stuff and then get ready to buy more.

* * *

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

I took it out and opened the text message.

_**Kim,**_

_**Why won't you talk to me? I really want to know what I did wrong. I'm sorry.**_

_**I honestly don't know. Please call me. I really want to talk to you. Please.**_

_**I miss you, Kim.**_

_**-J**_

Tears welled up in my eyes.

_I can't. I can't talk to you right now. You can wait until the party. One day won't hurt. I think. I hope._

I quickly closed my phone and put it back in my pocket so I wouldn't break down into tears.

_I really need to get a hold of myself._

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I sighed. I turned around to look at Alisha.

She have me a sympathetic look.

I smiled lightly and we drove back to my house in silence.

When we finally got to my place she turned my way. "Kim. If you ever need me to come over, don't hesitate to call me. I would be happy to help. I will be coming over at 5p.m. To get ready for Jared's party. Now I have to go. I will see you later, okay?"

I nodded slightly. "Thank you for today. I really enjoyed it. I hope we can do it again. I'll see you tomorrow." I said and got out of the car, heading toward my front door after grabbing my bag from the back seat.

I heard her call out, "Bye!" before she pulled out of my drive way and into the street.

I opened the door and was met by the eyes of my brother.

I let out a small scream, not expecting to see him there. He gave me a pointed look. "So, where you been?"

I swallowed. "I was with Alisha. We went dress shopping for the party tomorrow. I thought I told you guys." _I really, really did._

Zach shook his head. "This is the first I heard of it. And mom didn't mention it, so I don't think she knew either."

"I'm sorry."

He smiled. "It's okay. I was just playing. But really, we didn't know. Now let me see that beautiful dress."

I dug through my bag and pulled out the zebra print dress.

His eyes widened, but then smiled at me. "It looks like my baby sister is growing up. That's a hot dress you got there."

I laughed at his comment. "You are so weird."

He wiggled his eyebrows. "You know it baby!" he said and walked out and into the kitchen.

_When your with Zachery Connweller, you should make sure and expect the unexpected._

* * *

**A/N: **That was long enough, right? :o

And it was good, right? Maybe? Haha.

**Song Recommendation: **

To Plant a Seed by We Came As Romans

* * *

I really hope you like this chapter. Please **REVIEW** and tell me what you think.

There are links of the dresses Kim and Alisha bought on my profile by the way! :D


	9. Chapter 9: Broken

**Disclaimer:** I don't own these characters. SM does. And I'm obviously not her.

Okay...uhm...Is anyone reading my story? :\

I just don't see the point in writing it and posting it on here if no one is reading.

That just doesn't make any sense, does it?

I'll just post this chapter...since I was done with it.

* * *

**Chapter 9: Broken**

After talking with my brother, I made my way upstairs into my bedroom.

I sighed, knowing Mom would make me go to school tomorrow.

She was supportive the first 3 days, but now she seems it's gone far enough. She just doesn't understand what I'm going through. I feel broken when I am away from him.

I suddenly felt tired so I layed down and shut my eyes.

What seemed like a few minutes later, I was woken up by knocking at my door.

"Honey? It's time for dinner. Me and your father would like to talk to you about something." My mother said through the door.

I instantly panicked. _Did she want to talk about Jared? If she is, I can't deal with that today. I'm dealing with all that tomorrow. Just not now._

I stood up from my bed and gave her a reply.

I heard her go back downstairs and start putting out dishes.

I took small steps down the stair, trying to take the longest time possible.

When I entered the dinning room, my mother and father were seated and I wondered where Zach was.

"Um, where's Zach?" I asked. _Seriously. Where is he? He might be able to get me out of talking with them._

Mom smiled. "He's at a friends house. Now, come over and sit down so we can all talk together."

I sighed, sitting down across from my parents. _Just get it over with._

Mom cleared her throat. "Now honey. About Jared." _I knew it!_ "Why are you getting so worked up over him? I understand that it might hurt a little that he broke up with you, but that is no reason to go into depression over."

_You just don't understand. I like him a lot. He's like my other half. "_Mom. I don't think this is something I want to talk about."

Dad spoke up. "Now listen. We just want to know why? Why are you getting worked up. You have only been going out with him for a little longer than a week. You should not be attached to him by now. Just give your mother and I answers."

_This is going to be harder than I thought. _"He didn't break up with me. I found out he was just going to use me. That's all. Just drop it. Please." I said, gripping the table.

Mom's eyes widened in alarm. "Using her?" I heard her whisper to herself. She composed herself and nodded her head. "Okay. If that's what you want. Just go ahead and eat then you can go to bed, okay?"

I nodded and quickly ate my dinner.

After I ate, I went up the stairs and changed into my pajamas.

On my way to bed I noticed a dark figure outside my window. _My wolf. _

He was a lot closer to the house this time. He usually didn't go past the woods edge. I felt the need to go out there to see him.

After I knew my parents where asleep, I snuck out and walked slowly to my wolf.

His eyes were wide and looked broken. I wonder what was wrong with him.

I crawled over to him and held out my hand. "Come here, boy. I wont hurt you."

He backed away, but then stopped and started walking hesitantly over to me. "That's right. Good boy. Come here."

He stopped in front of me and looked into my eyes. I gasped because his eyes looked just like Jared's. Brown and gentle.

I lifted my hand and sat it gently on his head. I started to stroke his soft fur and he closed his eyes. _This is so unnatural. I have never heard of a wolf that lets a human get close and then when he does, closes his eyes and purrs. It just doesn't make sense. And his eyes are so human. They don't look like an animals eyes. He isn't normal._

He whimpered when I pulled my hand away. I patted his head and got up. He looked up at me.

"I'm going to go to bed now. I'm leaving. I'll be back tomorrow." I waved at him and he ran into the woods, looking back at me before disappearing into the darkness.

I ran back up to my room, falling into a deep sleep.

* * *

"Time to get up, honey!"

I groaned and covered my head with my pillow, trying to block out the noise, but obviously, it wasn't working.

"Get up! Get up! Get up! School time! You can't miss anymore days of school, Kimberly." My mom yelled though the door to my bedroom.

I growled and jumped up. "I'm up! I'll be downstairs in a minute. Let me get dressed!"

"Okay. I'll make a bagel for lunch." She said and went down the stairs.

I quickly slipped on a purple tank-top, a gray, long-sleeve sweeter, a pair of gray skinny jeans, and a pair of black Vans.

I launched downstairs and my mom yelling "Bye!" as I ran out the front door.

You're probably wondering why I left so fast. Well I just wanted to be one of the first people to school so I didn't run into anyone I didn't want to run into. Such as Jared.

I was nervous enough about tonight, I didn't want to add on to that. Or chicken out. I'm known to do that.

When I finally got to school I noticed one car that wasn't of the workers cars.

_Jared's car. Gosh dang it!_

When he saw me he ran up. "I don't know what I did Kim, but I am terribly sorry."

His eyes were full of panic and worry that I had to look away.

"I can't talk to you right now. I can't deal with this right now. Not during school. Not here. Just, if you see me again today, and you will, don't talk to me. Please."

He backed up, putting a hand on his heart as if he was in pain. "Please..."

I shook my head. "Can't. I'll talk to you later, Jared." I walked up to the front doors of the school, hoping for a good day ahead of me.

* * *

Turns out, today didn't turn out great, at all.

Seems there was a rumor going around school, saying I slept with one of the teachers and Brittany's(the head cheerleader) boyfriend.

I ended up getting made fun of all day _**and**_ getting beat up by the whole cheer leading squad.

_One hell of a day. I don't think I'm up for the part tonight. I've been through enough stress today and I don't need more. _

After school I met up with Alisha at her car in the schools parking lot. She had her dress and her make up in the back seat and I just knew I wouldn't be able to get out of the party tonight.

I sighed, but asked her anyway when we got to my house. "Hey, um, Alisha?" She looked at me. "Can I maybe, not go to the party tonight?" I asked nervously.

She got a disappointed look on her face. "I guess so. Wait – is this because of the rumors floating around school?" I gave a guilty look. "Don't worry! It will be fine, I promise!"

I shook my head. "No It won't be okay. The cheerleaders will be there and if they see me they will just beat me up again. They did it once today. Why would they hesitate to do it again?" I questioned.

I could tell she was furious and my confession. "They beat you up? Those bottle blond bimbos beat _you _up?" she was definitely pissed.

I nodded. "Brittney got everyone to turn against me for what I supposedly did with her boyfriend. Hell! She won't even believe her boyfriend! She's that fucking stupid! He has been telling everyone that it wasn't true, that he would never do that to her, but no one would believe either of us. Even after how hard we tried to, it just didn't happen."

She narrowed her eyes. "Gosh, she is a dumb ass. And so is everyone else for believing it. Who would even start something like that?" _Oh I have a pretty good idea. _

I didn't want to say it out loud, but I knew it was Jacob. I just knew it.

He has been out to get me ever since I started dating Jared and it hasn't even stopped even when I'm not dating him. I just don't understand why he's so pissed at me. I didn't do anything wrong.

"I don't know who would do that to me." I said and led her to my room to get ready.

Alisha told me to go ahead and put on my dress and I did what I was told. If I didn't, who knows what would happen.

She took out her make up bag and started taking things out and placing them on my make up desk.

She started putting things on me. Things like black mascara, black eyeliner, light blue eye shadow, foundation, blush, and other things to bring out the features of my face and make me beautiful.

When she was finished I looked at myself and was amazed at what I saw. My face was totally transformed. Well, not totally but it was pretty damn different.

I looked up at Alisha and gave her a big smile. "Thank you. For everything." I said sincerely.

She blushed and smiled back at me. "Your welcome."

I giggled and twirled around the room, excited about the party, as Alisha got ready.

When she was finished she got up and patted my shoulder. "Let's do your hair now, okay?"

I nodded and we walked into my bathroom.

She took out a curling iron and plugged it in. She turned it on and set it down on the counter. She turned around to look at me. "Your hair would look best curly with that dress we picked out for you. It will bring out the features and make you look even more beautiful that you already are."

_Sweet! I can't wait to go to the party! But one thing I'm not really looking forward to is talking with Jared. What if he thinks I'm not pretty? What if he doesn't want to talk to me? What if he doesn't want to see me at all?_

Sweat started to bead at my forehead and I gently wiped it off, trying not to mess up my make up.

I was absolutely terrified. I excused myself and walked into my room, grabbing a piece of paper and a pen.

I started writing down a letter to Jared if I couldn't talk to him. If I was to scared or if he didn't want to talk to me. I wrote down everything and then took out a small, black handbag placing the letter inside of it.

I felt confident about the note and knew everything was right. I was hoping he would like what I put.

Alisha soon walked out looking as beautiful as ever.

I stared in awe. I have never seen her look this good. She was like a model. I just knew every guy would be all over her at the party tonight.

She blushed when she saw me looking. She quickly grabbed my arm and we left to go to the party that has already started.

* * *

When we arrived I was greeted by Jacob.

He of course sneered and glared at me, but I just ignored him and moved on.

We walked into a big room and everyone was dancing and grinding to the songs that were playing.

When I heard one of my favorite songs come on, I grabbed Alisha's hand and we went onto the dance floor.

We started to grind against each other and did the moves me practiced for this song. We have been practicing for a week and we were glad we memorized everything before the party.

_There's a place down town,_

_where the freaks all come around._

_It's a hole in the wall,_

_it's a dirty free for all._

_When the dark of the night,_

_Comes around, that's the time,_

_that the animal comes alive,_

_looking for something wild._

_And now we lookin' like pimps,_

_in my gold Trans- Am._

_Gotta water bottle full of whiskey in my handbag._

_Got my drunk text on,_

_I'll regret in it the morning._

_But tonight_

_I don't give a _

_I don't give a _

_I don't give a_

People started whistling and I looked around to see guys looking at us. There was definitely lust in their eyes and they looked like they were on a mission. _Oh boy. What have we gotten ourselves into?_

I laughed and continued to dance.

_There's a place downtown_

_where the freaks all come around._

_It's a hole in the wall, _

_It's a dirty free for all._

_And they turn me on_

_When they take it off._

_When they take it off._

_Everybody take it off!_

_There's a place I know._

_If you're looking for a show._

_Where they go hardcore,_

_and there's glitter on the floor._

_And they turn me on_

_when they take it off._

_When they take it off._

_Everybody take it off!_

Everyone seemed to enjoy our little show, well except for some girls who were mad that their boyfriends were staring at us.

I giggled and we continued to dance to a few more songs before I got tired and went to go sit down.

I watched Alisha dance with this guy and she seemed to be having a great time. I was glad she was having so much fun. I was just sitting down and listening to the song blaring from the speakers.

_I wanted you to know, I love the way you laugh._

_I wanna hold you high and steal you pain...away._

_I keep your photograph;_

_And I know it serves you well._

_I wanna hold you high and steal your pain..._

_Because I'm broken,_

_When I'm lonesome,_

_And I don't feel right when your gone away._

_You've gone away._

_You don't feel me..here anymore._

_The worst is over now, and we can breathe again._

_I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain...away._

_There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight._

_I wanna hold you high and steal your pain!_

_Cause I'm broken, _

_when I'm open!_

_And I don't feel like, I am strong enough._

_Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome._

_And I don't feel right, when your gone away._

I love that song. I always thought that I wouldn't be able to relate to this song, but I guess I was wrong. Ever since Jared came into my life, I have felt nothing but happiness. When he's gone. I feel weak, and I'm in so much pain. I can't stand it.

_Cause I'm broken,_

_when I'm open!_

_And I don't feel like, I am strong enough._

_Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome._

_And I don't feel right, when your gone away._

_Cause I'm broken,_

_when I'm lonesome!_

_And I don't feel right, when your gone..._

_You've gone away,_

_You don't feel me..here anymore._

I felt like it was the right time to go talk to Jared. I gave Alisha a hand signal and she nodded her head, knowing I was going to Jared.

I went to Alisha's car and pulled out my handbag just in case I got scared as I was on my way there.

I looked around the house, inside first, but found no sight of Jared.

I then started to look outside. I suddenly felt sick to my stomach and pulled out the piece of notebook paper and held it in my hand.

I felt a pull in my heart, leading me to the pool. I saw two people by some trees and I went to see if it was Jared.

When I got closer I saw a guy and a girl kissing.

It felt as if my heart was ripped from my body.

I stumbled back and let out a strangled sob. I felt the strength building inside of me, I ran all the way back to my house, leaving the note behind. And for the 5th night in a row, I cried myself to sleep.

* * *

**A/N: Gasp **I wonder who that could be? :o Haha. I think we all know. :P

So...did you like it? Please read and review so I know people are reading and to just tell me what you think.

**Song Recommendations:**

Take It Off by Ke$ha

Broken by Seether ft. Amy Lee


	10. Chapter 9: Broken ? POV

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything in this story except for the plot. :D It all belongs to the amazing SM.

Sooo...I had already had this planned out so I;m going to post it. It's a short chapter. Really short, but that's okay. Guess who's POV it is? :o

JARED'S! Eeep! XD

Now on with it! :o

Oh and sorry if he sounds like a girl...I;m not used to writing in a guys point of view.c:

* * *

**Chapter 9: Broken- Jared's POV**

I was freaking out. I had no idea why Kim was ignoring me.

I was breaking. And it was a painful thing to endure.

Kim hasn't been to school for days and I was in physical pain not being with her, not being by her.

That's when I decided to go to her house and possibly see if she would come out to me.

Any longer without her, I just might have a heart attack. I know that I wouldn't be able to die from it, but that's what everything felt like.

Without her being here with me felt like I was having a constant heart attack.

So I when I went to her house that night, I saw her look out her window and smile at me sadly.

My heart was breaking just looking at her sad face. I wanted to hold her, comfort her. But I knew that would never happen.

She was pushing me away.

I knew she was hurting. That's what happens when your not with your imprint.

You have to be by each other. Either as a friend, a brother, or a lover.

The wolf has to endure the most pain. It just hurts. I can't explain exactly what it was, but it felt as if I was dying over and over again.

Right when I was about to leave, I saw the sliding doors from her house open and she walked out.

Just looking at her wounded me deeply.

I looked at her as she got on her hands and knees and started crawling towards me, holding out her palm. "Come here boy. I won't hurt you." _Oh but you are. And I can't stand it._

I backed away, scared for a moment, but then realizing it was my imprint coming towards me I hesitantly walked over to her. She praised meas I got closer to her.

When she looked into my eyes she gasped. I believe that she recognized them. Like she knew they belonged to me. Jared. A human. Not a wolf.

She started rubbing my head and all I could do was lean into her and close my eyes.

My wolf soon took over and started to purr at the touch of my imprint. I just couldn't get any happier than right then. She was my life, and I was finally with her. Even if this moment lasts only for a moment, I will be content.

She told me she was leaving when she suddenly got up. Disappointed, I ran back into the woods, giving her one last look before going back into the forest.

* * *

The next day she was there.

I felt my heart stop and anger boil inside of me when people were teasing her.

It seems as someone made up some rumors and everyone believed them. _Assholes._

But before this she told me to not talk to her, she couldn't deal with me right now. _I don't understand._

_What did I do wrong? Things were going great but then you suddenly changed. _

I tried to keep these thoughts out of my head, unsuccessfully, and tried to enjoy the rest of my day.

When I got home, I saw everyone sitting at the dinner table with muffins in hand.

Emily gave me a sympathetic look. "How are you, Jared? We don't see you around much anymore."

Every eye was on me, as if waiting for an answer. "I'm not doing do well." Was all I could say. I just couldn't figure out what else to say.

Jacob had the look of guilt on his face for a moment but it then turned into a cold stare that he always had.

Emily reached out a hand and I hesitantly took it. "Poor boy. Are you in much pain?" she asked.

I nodded. "So much pain. I can't deal with it. All I can do it be a creepy stalker dude and look at her through her bedroom window." I smiled sadly. "It takes some of the pain away ust to see her once in a while."

She had tears in her eyes. And I felt the hot tears that were forming in my eyes start to fall down me cheeks. "Jared. Come here. Give me a hug."

I crushed my body to her and held onto her as if my life depended on it. I took comfort in Emily. She always supported me and I felt the most comfortable around her.

I heard the pack grumble. "Stop this gooey stuff. Please. And Jared. Maybe try and talk to her? That could help."

I pulled out of Emily's embrace and glared at them. "Do you think I haven't tried to talk to her?" I roared. "I have tried and tried and she says she doesn't want to talk to me. I don't even know what I did! Things were going so well and then it crashed. I don't understand."

Jacob's look was painful and sad. "I did it." He whispered.

"What? Did what?" I asked. He looked up at me. "I told her you were just using her for some game. That she was nothing. To you or to anyone. I'm sorry."

It took me a moment to register his words and when I did I saw red.

I launched towards him but Sam took a hold of my wrists. "Stop. Now. I know what Jacob did was wrong, and stupid, but you can't kill each other. You are brothers. All of us. We can't kill our own pack brothers, even if you want to."

I growled but relaxed. _I guess he's right. I have no right to kill him. I can't hurt him._

I shook my head and told everyone I was going to get ready for the party tonight.

* * *

The party was a bitch to get together.

All the food, which Emily mostly made, and all the decorations and electronics that needed to be put in.

It took a few hours but I was done before anyone got here.

Many people greeted me, but the only person I was waiting for was Kim. I hoped she would come over tonight. I was aching for her. I needed to see her and hold her in my arms.

I soon say Alisha's car pull up and her and Kim got out of the car.

I kept an eye on Kim as she made her may into the dance room with Alisha. They soon started dancing and was surprised at what they were doing.

They were grinding against each other and doing all these naughty dance moves.

I could feel myself getting more and more aroused by the second and I hoped it would end soon, but I secretly hoped it would never stop. I wanted her now for the first time. I wanted everything.

I could see that all the guy were sporting their own arousal at the sight of Kim and Alisha.

I could feel anger rising in me. _They had no right! They had no right to look at Kim and think of her that way! Even if she looks sexy in that dress she's wearing tonight. _

Deep in thought I didn't notice that someone was pulling me to the bushes outside.

I snapped out of it when she touched my abs.

I looked over and noticed the head cheerleader. Brittany.

My eyes widened. _What is she doing? _She smiled up at me and started rubbing up and down my chest and abs.

"So. How's it going Jared?" she asked.

I shook my head. "W – What are you doing?" I asked. She looked at me innocently. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"What are you doing?" I growled as her hands got closer to my cock.

"St-!" I was cut off by her lips attacking mine. I felt disgusted.

I tried to push her away without hurting her but I didn't want to hurt her.

Right when I was getting ready to push her away I heard a sob and noticed Kim looking at us with pain and hurt in her eyed. She ran the other direction and I pushed her off of me, making her fall to the ground. "You bitch! You ruined everything!"

She shrieked and ran off into the house.

When I was going inside I noticed a not sitting on the ground I opened it and it read:

_Dear Jared,_

_I wanted to write this note just in case I was to scared to talk to you. _

_And if your reading this, I probably was._

_I wanted to ask you why. _

_Why would you use me? What did I do?_

_I want answers._

_I'm in pain everyday I'm not with you._

_I'm hurting inside. But when I'm with you, I feel whole again._

_I feel complete with you. _

_You mean everything to me and I was wondering if you felt the same way._

_Are you really not using me?_

_I hope not because I don't know if I could take it._

_Because Jared, _

_I'm falling in love with you._

_Love, Kim. _

I love you too Kim. Forever.

* * *

**A/N: **That wasn't as short as I expected, but yeah. I hope you liked it. Please review and tell me what you think! :D I would appreciate it!


	11. A Final Note

OTAY! Hello all you people that alerted my story, if you happen to read this. AND you people that started to read my story and got to this note and your all mad and shtuff...

Anyway, A lot has been going on in my life these past months.. and I never had time or the urge to write anything. I'm terribly sorry to all the people that read my story and enjoyed it.

I really appreciate your kindness towards me in your reviews. It made me so happy.

This sounds like I'm leaving the world or something and I'm saying my last good-bye. XD

I'm so dramatic...

Anyways, I understand if you are angry that I'm quitting... Because I am. I also hate it when people don't finish their stories when I'm so into them. I just don't have time or any ideas.

I was writing the next chapter until the file was deleted and I told myself, 'I'll write it tomorrow.'

And that didn't happen, did it?

Also, I have been stressed out and not even writing could cheer me up. Especially writing about love and happiness. :p

So after about 4 months, I thought I at LEAST owed you all a note,

So thank you all for supporting me..byeee. D:


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